People will always respond in kind, even in greater measure than that
which is delivered to them. This commonplace need for retaliation can
be replaced with a response designed to convert an enemy into a friend.
If you get rid of the millstone of pride, you can respond to an
injustice with a kind deed. It may take time to make this work, but if
you treat those who dislike you with unfailing kindness, they will
eventually succumb to your influence and "retaliate" in kind. As
Napoleon Hill said, "The hottest coals of fire ever heaped upon the head
of one who has wronged you are the coals of human kindness."
Some setbacks are so severe that to give in to them means losing the
whole ball game. When he assumed command of the Korean War, Gen. Matthew
Ridgeway found his forces pushed far to the south, hard pressed by the
invaders. Only a determined decision to hold the lines allowed the
American forces to keep from being swept into the sea and to eventually
regain all the territory they had lost.
When a defeat strikes, you may not have the time to withdraw and
contemplate your mistakes without risking further setbacks. Don’t
succumb to paralysis. It is important to know at that moment what it is
you truly desire and to act to preserve your resources and your hope. If
you crumble utterly, you will take a blow to your self-esteem that will
be hard to repair. Instead, stick to your principles, and you will
know, at the very least, that you have protected the most important
thing you have.
