Schoolchildren sometimes play a game called "Honesty." The rules are
simple: For a designated period of time, the participants must tell the
truth regardless of the subject. They then ask each other leading
questions such as, "Do you like my hair?" "Do you think Lindsay is
cute?" Inevitably someone gets angry when he or she discovers that these
friends had been shading the truth, telling "little white lies," to
spare the person’s feelings. Even when the game is over, its lessons are
not soon forgotten.
Being honest with others doesn’t mean being brutal. It isn’t necessary
to tell people everything you don’t like about them under the guise of
being frank with them "for their own good." Sometimes it’s better if we
don’t know every person’s innermost feelings about us. Respect for
another’s self-esteem often means telling them too little truth instead
of too much.
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